Don’t touch me (or try to kiss me) until at least the first date. Pretty much every guy that I’ve been talking to since I’ve been single has tried something before even taking me out on a date. I’m sure the percentage of females who have experienced the same thing is pretty high. Or is it just me that attracts these types of guys?
I don’t think so. It’s not like the guys I meet are complete douchebags. Besides the fact that they are “touchy-feely” too soon, they seem to be fairly decent. Unfortunately, I’m led to believe that it’s just something that has become the acceptable norm of modern dating. But feel free to prove me wrong- this is something I’d rather be wrong about.
For me, being touch-feely too soon is both a pet peeve and a big turn off. Why?
I don’t believe in “instant gratification” when it comes to love and sex.
I don’t believe in shortcuts (unless it involves making something more efficient or getting to a location faster).
I don’t believe in skipping necessary steps.
Moving too fast and getting close too soon is like creating a building without first establishing a good foundation. Ask yourself what you are trying to create- a one night stand, or something that is built to last.
I like to be given choices.
When you repeatedly stick your face in mine and don’t keep your hands off, what choices are you giving me? The choices between awkwardly denying you hoping you get the hint, having to awkwardly tell you to stop, or giving in to avoid the awkward conversation telling you to stop. None of these choices are appealing. All choices are awkward and uncomfortable. Please give me the choice to decide when I am ready to kiss you or be touched.
Ladies, maybe we are putting too much blame on the guys. Maybe through our actions we have helped make this the norm. But guys and girls- we both need to learn that “anything that’s worth having is worth the wait” and “nothing worth having comes easy.”
So here’s a call to action:
Ladies, quit being so easy.
When given the limited poor choices between a) denying the guy until he gets the hint, b) giving in to avoid the awkward conversation telling him to stop, c) telling him to stop, please choose c. I’ve been in these awkward situations and I know it’s easiest to avoid any awkward conversations, but the best thing for saving the future of love and romance is c.
Gentlemen, put a little more effort!
Before making any moves, the very least you can do is get to know her, take her out, give her the chance to actually decide if she likes you enough to kiss you.