Throwback Thursday: The Last Song

People tell you what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Who hasn’t heard that a million times before? And when you hear it- it doesn’t give you much consolation. It’s just something people say.

Yeah- you’ll be stronger- but it still hurts. It still sucks…

Those words only feel great when the time has passed and you have in fact become stronger. It’s liberating.

I’ve recently felt this way when I’ve found myself smiling more just thinking about how blessed I am and how much I feel that I’ve grown. I’m by no means exactly where I want to be in life yet, but I can say I’m truly content with where I’m at.

I’ve come a long way since my most recent breakup. Here are some steps I had to go through before feeling stronger:

I’ve accepted it.

I let go of the bitterness.

I’ve spent time on myself and with myself.

I’ve learned that true happiness comes within and that I don’t need you. And it isn’t so much that I ever needed you, but for the longest time you were a big contributor to my happiness- that’s just what happens when you love someone.

I can’t say if I’ve truly moved on. But I’m on the road to recovery and I haven’t stopped moving. I’ve fallen but have lifted myself back up. Your memories still chase after me from time to time. I let them catch up to me and then pass me by. I don’t know what’s at the end of the road, I don’t know if you’ll be there or how often we’ll cross paths.

I used to be your biggest fan- now I’m a pretty big fan of myself and I’m routing for me. I’m still on my journey to reaching my goals but I’m enjoying it.  And I’m going to get there someday whether you’re by my side or not. I’m stronger because of you- so thanks for breaking my heart.

This video “The Last Song” is fitting for this post because it’s about letting go and this may not be “the last song” but hopefully the last post revolving around him. This song is a sweet goodbye.

 

TRY THIS! THURSDAY

For new readers, on Thursdays I challenge readers to do something they probably aren’t used to doing everyday. It usually involves making relationships stronger- whether it be a relationship with someone else or with yourself. Because, self love is just as important!

Today’s Challenge:

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If you’re in a relationship:

Tell your significant other your favorite thing about them.

If you’re single:Image

This second challenge is inspired by a fellow blogger’s post Shiny, Happy, People, and Special Inconvenience a post by a good friend who also happens to be an amazing writer. 

My favorite thing about myself is:

I like to explore.

This kind of sounds vague but basically I take pride in having an open mind and not being afraid to try new things. It definitely keeps life interesting. It’s vague but it’s limitless. There are limitless things to explore-  new places, foods, hobbies, ideas, and concepts. I’m not afraid of the unknown, I have no aversion for risk, and I’m ready to accept failure (not as an end result but as a learning curve, as part of the journey).

Feel free to share your favorite thing about yourself or your significant other in a comment!

(The first photo is from annstreetstudio- her cinemagraphs are amazing)

DON’T TOUCH ME

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Don’t touch me (or try to kiss me) until at least the first date. Pretty much every guy that I’ve been talking to since I’ve been single has tried something before even taking me out on a date. I’m sure the percentage of females who have experienced the same thing is pretty high. Or is it just me that attracts these types of guys?

I don’t think so. It’s not like the guys I meet are complete douchebags. Besides the fact that they are “touchy-feely” too soon, they seem to be fairly decent. Unfortunately, I’m led to believe that it’s just something that has become the acceptable norm of modern dating. But feel free to prove me wrong- this is something I’d rather be wrong about.

For me, being touch-feely too soon is both a pet peeve and a big turn off. Why?

Because:

 I don’t believe in “instant gratification” when it comes to love and sex.

 I don’t believe in shortcuts (unless it involves making something more efficient or getting to a location faster).

I don’t believe in skipping necessary steps.

Moving too fast and getting close too soon is like creating a building without first establishing a good foundation. Ask yourself what you are trying to create- a one night stand, or something that is built to last.

I like to be given choices.

When you repeatedly stick your face in mine and don’t keep your hands off, what choices are you giving me? The choices between awkwardly denying you hoping you get the hint, having to awkwardly tell you to stop, or giving in to avoid the awkward conversation telling you to stop. None of these choices are appealing. All choices are awkward and uncomfortable. Please give me the choice to decide when I am ready to kiss you or be touched.

Ladies, maybe we are putting too much blame on the guys. Maybe through our actions we have helped make this the norm. But guys and girls- we both need to learn that “anything that’s worth having is worth the wait” and “nothing worth having comes easy.”

So here’s a call to action:

Ladies, quit being so easy.

When given the limited poor choices between a) denying the guy until he gets the hint, b) giving in to avoid the awkward conversation telling him to stop, c) telling him to stop, please choose c. I’ve been in these awkward situations and I know it’s easiest to avoid any awkward conversations, but the best thing for saving the future of love and romance is c.

Gentlemen, put a little more effort!

Before making any moves, the very least you can do is get to know her, take her out, give her the chance to actually decide if she likes you enough to kiss you.

COINCIDENCES VS. SIGNS

(names and places have been changed)

Yesterday, a friend, Franklin invited me to a night out in Citron City with some of his friends. We had just met a couple of weeks ago in Orlando through our mutual friend Evan. It’s always relieving to meet someone that lives in Citron City because it’s a very dull town.  It’s hard to have much of a social life here. Admittedly, I wouldn’t call myself a “social butterfly”, but I am human and a little social interaction every once in a while is healthy, so I agreed to a night out.

Franklin is a good guy. He’s sweet, confident, respectful, and attractive. He has ambitions and goals- something I look for in a potential partner. Unfortunately, I’m not attracted to him in that way. To tell you the truth, I like his friend. It’s a hard situation to be in- for me and for him, but you can’t help who you like.

While talking in the car we realized just how small of a town we live in. He was telling me about his family and we started talking about his sister. He said his sister ran a home health business. I mentioned that my stepmom was a scheduler at one. We then found out that my stepmom works for his sister. What a coincidence and what a small world!

The next morning, I told my stepmom about the amusing coincidence. She then revealed that his parents’ house is the house we went to for her co-worker’s dog’s birthday party- the house he is now staying at.

Naturally, I flashed backed to that day. The day after my most recent breakup. It was a tough day. I didn’t really want to be around anyone that day but I found the idea of a dog party amusing and I was curious. I never heard of anyone having a party for their dog and it was as if God was introducing the concept to me to keep the mood light. It was still hard to be there meeting new people and maintaining a front that everything was okay when I just felt so broken inside.  I tried so hard to hold it together but at times my head hurt from holding back the tears and a million thoughts per millisecond ran through my head. Was it really the right choice? It seemed to be. Could it have ended differently? Of course, but there were so many things that needed to change and he had admitted defeat. We were a team but when a player quits a two-player team there’s nothing left to do- game over. I, too, had to admit defeat.

In between the silly dog games and festivities, I had to step away. I would alternate between the bathroom and an empty room to collect myself. Apparently, Franklin’s empty room.

Life is funny sometimes. It just seems so ironic that I’m hanging out with a guy and before I met him I was in his room trying to collect myself over my latest breakup. Call me weird, but when coincidences like this happen to me sometimes I wonder if they are signs from God.

If it’s any kind of sign maybe it’s a sign telling me:

“Hello, there are other fish in the sea that are great catches. Maybe you feel like you caught the right one, but when you tried to reel it in the fishing line just snapped- it wasn’t meant to be. Get a new fishing line and keep fishing.”

Valentine’s Day- The Perfect Gifts for the “How I Met Your Mother” Fan

“How I Met Your Mother” has been one of my favorite shows of all time for many reasons. It’s funny, relatable, and has excellent writing with great subject matter including life lessons on friendship, dating, and love. It comes equipped with cheesy puns, clever word plays, and pop culture references. I could go on and on. I’m definitely going to miss this show when it ends in March.

With Valentine’s Day coming up in about a week, CBS has perfect gift ideas for the HIMYM fan. The mini cherry on top of the cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is your life, is that the t-shirts are on sale for 2 for $40.

This year, I most likely will not have a Valentine, but if I did have one, I think these would make some awesome gifts. Here are my favorites:

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             ICONIC

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                                GOTTA LOVE BARNEY STINSON!

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                                                    KICK ASS COASTERS!

Find more at:

http://www.cbsstore.com/how-i-met-your-mother/index.php?v=cbs-howimetyourmother&icid=210x118_cbs_how-I-met-your-mother_10072013